D Day, Literally

So it's nearly one in morning and I'm still up enjoying the somersaults in my stomach. Today is the day of my divorce hearing and I am scared. I have this fear that the judge is going to be seduced by Big P's oh-so-convincing act of the poor, downtrodden man. I fear that because we have a child together that I will be stuck on this tiny piece of Southern Oregon Coast where there are no jobs, no future, and no real educational opportunities. Okay, we have a community college that houses a culinary school. If you want to be a nurse or the next Iron Chef , your set. I'm looking at Horticultural Communications which is not offered here. No idea what is expected of me. No attorney to help. Let me offer a word of advice. Divorce is for people with money. And whatever you do, don't get divorced in a small town with a high unemployment rate. If you have a child with your ex, you can be kept from moving away to a place with more jobs. I kid you not.

And what the hell is wrong with me anyway? Am I so socially retarded that I don't these guys coming with a huge neon sign on their foreheads that reads "Emotionally Stunted"? Let's be real. I'm nearly 42 years old with few prospects for a bright future at this current time. My soon to be ex is a pathological liar with borderline personality disorder and a history of drug and alcohol abuse. Not a pretty picture.

Faith is the only thing that keeps me going. God is good, end of discussion. Without Him, I would have no hope. Miracles happen every day, I hope there are a few in store for our little family. My kids are everything good in this world. They are a daily source of joy. For them, I'll go out and slay this dragon. Wish me luck!

Feeling better already,
-E